


learn how to carry myself

by Rlillies



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Tommy exile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rlillies/pseuds/Rlillies
Summary: He can barely see anything in front of him, the darkness of the night reflecting off of the blue ocean. The body behind him offers no warmth, the ghost of his older brother only amplifies the cold wind that blows through his bones.He brings his head up, his arms exhausted from rowing the boat to wherever Dream is taking him. The lime green of Dream hoodie is the only thing that Tommy’s blue eyes can register in the dark, Dream has a lantern suspended above his boat to light the way.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 103





	learn how to carry myself

**Author's Note:**

> please note that this is a fanfiction about the dreamSMP, every take on these characters are purely their characters. and of course if any of them announce that they are uncomfy with fanfictions i will delete this.
> 
> title from lavender blood by the fox academy

He can barely see anything in front of him, the darkness of the night reflecting off of the blue ocean. The body behind him offers no warmth, the ghost of his older brother only amplifies the cold wind that blows through his bones. 

He brings his head up, his arms exhausted from rowing the boat to wherever Dream is taking him. The lime green of Dream hoodie is the only thing that Tommy’s blue eyes can register in the dark, Dream has a lantern suspended above his boat to light the way. 

Tommy isn’t even sure if he has a lantern on him, he doesn’t even have the will to check. It wouldn’t matter if he did. The light that the lantern would offer wouldn’t make Tommy feel better. His own best friend agreed with Dream that it would be best for L’Manburg that Tommy was exiled. 

“Tommy, where are we going?” The distant and light voice of Wilbur drags Tommy out of his spiral. He glances over his shoulder and sees the opac and grey body of his once bright and alive older brother, he wears a raggedy yellow sweater with a giant and bloody hole in front. The tear from where their Da-  _ No. - _ where Philza killed him, forever on Wilburs skin. 

“I… I don’t know Wilbur. Dream is taking me far away.” 

At the mention of his name, Tommy sees Dream glance back at the two brothers. His face is unreadable because of the damn white mask he always wears. “We’re almost there Tommy.” 

The boy shivers, the tone of Dreams voice scaring him right down to the bottom of his spine. This man has so much power, without even being a ruler of anything. He basically led the exile of him without having any leverage in L’Manburg or George’s kingdom. The man rowing in front of him and in charge of his last life is the most terrifying person Tommy has every met. 

_ He won’t bend to his will.  _

The bright green of Dream suddenly comes to a stop, his boat breaks against Dreams, sending him into the cold water. Ever so quickly the cold hand of Wilbur grips his shoulder and attempts to haul the blonde out of the water. 

Tommy quickly scrambles out of the water, his armor weighed down by water. Tommy looks up at Dream and he just  _ knows  _ that the masked man in front of him has an amused grin on his face. Tommy huffs and lugs his long legs out of the water. 

He steps foot onto soft sand, water drips out of his boots. Dream is already several feet ahead of him, digging a hole. 

“Tommy, are we on vacation?” Tommy looks back at the ghost that has haunted him ever since his death. His form is even harder to see in the pitch black of night, Dreams’ lantern several feet away from them that it barely casts any light on them. 

Not wanting to disappoint his dead brother, Tommy just agrees. He gives him a sad nod and looks away from him. Hating lying to him, his last death having caused sevear memory loss. His eyes go back to the only light in the darkness of night, Dreams lantern. 

It seems that whatever Dream was doing is done. He stands silent to the left of his hole, staring Tommy down with the blank and empty look that constantly plagues his face. “Tommy, put your stuff in the hole.” 

The boy stands on the beach frozen, unsure if he heard the man correctly. Throw his stuff away? His only possessions? The few items that he had on him when he was exiled? 

The armor and weapons that he grinded for? His netherite armor and pickaxe? He can’t be serious, however the silence that follows Dreams order proves his seriousness. 

He slowly stalks towards the young boy, his diamond axe revealing itself. The threat obvious. 

“Tommy… How many lives do you have left.” 

_ Oh no. Oh god. Oh Fuck, he isn’t going to fucking so this is he?  _

“... One” 

“If you don’t do as I say. I  _ will  _ take that life.”

“No! You can’t be fucking serious Dream! You can’t take my last life!” 

Dream throws his axe over his shoulder, resting ominously on his shoulder. “I can and I will Tommy. Now,” He then moves his axe in a downwards arch and points at the hole. “Put your  _ shit _ in the goddamned hole Tommy.” 

Tommy stays still, not willing to bend to the will of this mad man, his resolve will not crumble. 

“Tommy.” Dream practically growls out, an overly animalistic sound causes Tommy to tense up. Unsure if he should break his promise to himself and live, or risk loosing his last life and becoming like Wilbur. 

Dream shrugs, and Tommy thinks to himself for a second that Dream was actually joking and is going to start laughing. 

Tommy is sent flying back a few feet, he hears the distant sound of Wilbur crying out in concern, confused on what is happening. He barely felt the pain because of his netherite armor, but the knockback on Dream’s axe was strong enough to break through his armor. “Tommy…” 

“Okay! Okay!” The kid throws his hands up, showing Dream that he isn’t going to do anything. “I’ll do it! Just fucking stop!” 

Tommy crawls up, his body already sore from rowing the boat and the attack from Dream. He slowly and hesitantly walks towards the absurdly deep hole that Dream has dug out. He stares down into the abyss and feels like crying. He looks up at Dream, his eyes wet with tears unwilling to fall. 

“Are you wanting me to drop everything in there?” 

“You can keep your steak. But drop everything in there Tommy.” 

Wilbur comes up from behind him and whispers in his ear, “I think you should listen to him Toms. He hit you for no reason and you need to be careful.” 

“I-” Tommy’s lip trembles, his age showing in his vulnerability. “Okay.” 

He slowly starts to strip off his armor, the heavy and comforting netherite weight leaves him feeling naked and exposed to the outside world. And he is, the worst thing is that he is exposed. He gently tosses down his sword and axe, along with the other bits and pieces he has in his inventory. 

Tommy looks at Dream, feelings so small in front of this man that is decked out in armor. 

“I’m proud of you Tommy.” Dream’s voice seems…  _ soft  _ and comforting. As if he truly is proud of Tommy, that he is thankful that Tommy did that for him. The small bit of praise that would usually make Tommy feel happy and proud of himself just makes him feel so  _ angry.  _

He clenches his fist to keep himself from acting out and curing Dream out. The man says nothing and pulls out a block of TNT. As soon as Tommy sees the TNT he knows that Dream is going to blow his stuff up. Dream places the TNT on top of the hole and pulls his bow out, he lights the arrow and sends it a few feet forward and sends the final piece of Tommy’s doom. 

The hiss of the TNT sounds as it falls down the hole, Tommy can’t help himself but to look over the hole and watch as the TNT falls down. It goes off with a reverberated boom and the explosion sends Tommy back a few feet, his eyebrows singed and his body even more sore. 

Tommy falls down onto his butt, either from shock or the explosion, the boy isn’t quite sure on which one sent him down. Either way, as he sits on the cold dirt he feels the cold drops of rain that start falling from the sky. If Tommy was alone he would scream out of frustration, but he isn’t and he can’t. 

He wants to give up, he has nothing on him other than half a stack of steak and the clothes on his back. He swears that he hears a huff of frustration come from Dream, he doesn’t bother to look up to see if he heard correctly. 

Tommy feels the ever familiar chill of Wilbur being near him, he glances up and sees the ghost trying to block some of the rain from falling on him. The small action brings a small smile onto Tommy’s face. 

As he looks at Wilbur he hears the familiar sound of dirt being placed, Tommy’s head snaps over to where Dream is now quickly placing dirt to form a small hut over him. The hut gets closed off soon enough and Dream walks over to a corner and sets a bed down. 

“You know what to do Tommy. Set your spawn.” 

He knows he should, there is no reason to fight when he doesn’t have any tools. When he doesn’t have the motivation or anything to fight for. But something in him prevents him from standing, some small part of him still stands up against Dream. 

Dream’s aura changes as soon as he realizes that the boy isn’t going to immediately get up and reset his spawn point, he becomes angry again and violent. His axe comes into view again and he doesn’t have to say anything for Tommy to slowly crawl up and stand on his shaky legs. 

He feels as if his knees will give in on themselves, he knows that if he doesn’t do as Dream says that he will get another warning hit. This potential warning hit will hurt much more than the first as Tommy no longer has armor. 

As quickly as he can, Tommy sets his spawn point. 

Dream cocks his head slightly, amusement oozing out of him. “Good.” 

Dream turns around and heads out of the hole he left open in the dirt hut. Tommy slowly follows him as he leaves, his feet drag underneath him. The green man places his boat down and hops in, he quickly sails into the distance. Heading back to where all of his friends are located. 

“Tommy…” Oh how much he wants to snap at Wilbur. He knows he shouldn’t, he knows that Ghostbur doesn’t mean any harm by his comments, and that Ghostbur doesn’t truly remember anything that Alivebur did. Tommy knows that he just needs to yell to get his frustrations out. 

And yell he does. 

He screams and screams into the emptiness of night, the dark abyss swallows his cry of frustration. 

Tommy collapses onto the beach, staring out at the ocean that leads to L’Manburg. The tears stream down his face and blend in with the rain that pounds down on him. 

He must have fallen asleep at some point in the night because he wakes up freezing, his body shakes and his clothes stick to him. The early morning sun shines bright after the storm the night before. 

He hears the distant sound of sheep grazing and chickens clucking nearby. He even hears the distant splash of what is most likely fish swimming about. He blinks slowly, his eyes barley recognizing the figure in front of him. 

The yellow sweater slowly becoming a norm in Tommy's life sits above his eye level, followed by a grey body. “Toms... Did you stay out here all night?” 

He can’t even answer, too exhausted from crying himself to sleep in the  _ rain _ . All he can bother to do is shrug in response. Wilbur frowns down at him and sits down on the ground next to his younger brother. “I… I got you a gift Tommy.” 

Tommy doesn’t answer so Wilbur takes that as permission to continue. “I can’t really remember the reason why I feel that this is important. But when I was thinking of what I could give to Tommy, this came to mind.” 

Wilbur pulls out a familiar coat, the dark and light grey’s bring fresh tears to Tommy’s dried out eyes. Ghostbur found him Wilburs coat. The coat that  _ Philza  _ killed him in. 

He quickly snatches the coat out of Wilburs arms and pulls it tight to his chest. He shoves his face into the soot cover coat and breathes in the smell of Wilbur. Something Tommy quickly learned after Ghostbur started visiting him after his death is that ghosts don’t really have a smell. 

“Oh. I'm glad you like it Toms… can you get up now? You need to do things.” 

Tommy nods slowly and forces himself up. His knees crack and he lets out a loud groan of pain, he stands up on unsteady feet and shrugs on the oversized coat. The sleeves come past his hands, something easily solved by rolling the sleeves up. 

The kid limps his way towards a nearby tree, knowing that he has to restart on any progress. 

“Wilby… would you be willing to help me?” 

Wilbur perks up, excited that the boy is finally talking to him. “Of course! I have an axe, a pickaxe-” the ghost goes on about what he has on him, handing Tommy the items as he announces them. He stands there utterly surprised with what Wilbur has hidden from Dream. 

Tommy grins, he finally grins, a laugh starts to bubble it's way out of his throat. He suddenly starts to uncontrollably laugh. 

Wilbur, confused but glad that Tommy is finally feeling more of himself, starts to laugh alongside the younger boy. 


End file.
